Dig a Little Deeper
Even non-gardeners recognize the following fact:
If you want to maximize the likelihood that a plant will grow, you need to plant it a little deeper. If you merely place a seed or fledgling plant into the loose top-soil, it is at risk of being blown away by the elements. Occasionally, you have to put a little bit of sweat and muscle into breaking through the tougher under layer to create a solid containment for the plant to grow roots and gain strength. It is only then that a plant has maximum likelihood to flourish. Additionally, we want to plant our seeds in soil that is nutritious, symbiotic, and life-giving, not dry sucking soil that is devoid of nourishment.
People often wonder “why aren’t my relationships better” and one of the first metaphors I use is the one above.
It doesn’t matter if it is a casual business encounter, a friendship, or a deeper romantic or family relationship, but sometimes we need access the energy and the time to collect our shovels and “dig”.
Digging does NOT mean pestering, belittling, nagging, or pushing. What I mean by digging is feeling secure in the promise that, with effort (and possibly a little pain), our relationships have the potential to be a more secure space for us to put down our roots. The pain I am referring to (like the muscle power in a good dig) is the risk of exposing our vulnerabilities, the fear that people won’t like or accept our feelings and will reject us.
Not all relationships are fertile soil; some are dry, sucking, and without nourishment. It is our job to test the quality before we dive head in to planting our garden. However, if we trust that the soil we are trying to plant in to is “healthy” soil with good potential to help us grow, we deserve to take the risk of opening up and trying to make the relationship better.
After all, we all deserve depth in our relationships.